When Apologies Aren't Enough
by TemptingFate
Summary: Sydney leaves the CIA and Los Angeles to begin a new life away from the world of spies and danger. I know it's been done before, but this story will be unique so please R/R!
1. A New Beginning

Disclaimer-I do not own Alias or anything associated with Alias, except for this story.  
  
A/N-I must admit, I'm a little nervous about attempting an Alias story. The technical CIA, double agent stuff worries me. Therefore, I apologize in advance if the gizmos and gadgets are improbable or just plain stupid.  
  
When Apologies Aren't Enough  
  
Prologue  
  
Sydney placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'm sorry." She whispered to his sleeping form as she got out of bed. Quickly, she gathered her discarded clothes and tugged them on. Reaching the door, she glanced at him one last time, with a sad smile gracing her features. With the door shut firmly behind her, she let a single tear make its way down her cheek. Her hands tightened around her purse until her knuckles turned white and she forced her feet to walk away.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Sydney Bristow sat in Langley's office and forced herself to sit up straight and remain in control. "I want out." She repeated, her voice firm despite the slight quivering feeling in her stomach.  
  
The older man frowned. "You can't just leave the CIA." He leaned back in his chair and frowned.  
  
"I understand that, but there has to be a way. I am not going to remain in the CIA or SD-6. My life is no longer my own and I'm ready to take it back. If you want to keep your government secrets a secret, you will find a way to let me out. I'm not asking for protection or money or anything from you, just my freedom." She knew threatening the United State's government could be dangerous, but she was willing to try anything.  
  
Gazing at her, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She was so young, but so much older than her actual age. Her short life had already put her through so much. When he looked at her, he could see why Vaughn bent over backwards and broke every rule to help her. A loud sigh escaped his lips as he made up his mind. "I'll see what I can do."  
  
Her grateful smile was all the thanks he needed, but she spoke the words anyway. "Thank-you so much. I owe you for giving me a second chance at a normal life."  
  
"It won't be normal." He informed her. "It will require a new identity and absolutely no contact with anyone from your old life."  
  
Sydney gave a brisk nod. "That's what I want." At his raised eyebrows, she offered a vague explanation. "It's not just the CIA that I want to leave behind, it's my whole life."  
  
Rising, he extended his hand, which she took. "Thank-you." She repeated.  
  
"You're welcome, Agent Bristow. Good luck on your new life."  
  
With a quick smile, she exited his office and closed the door on that chapter of her life."  
  
  
  
About 1 Year Later  
  
Sydney smiled as the man approached her. Before she could utter a greeting, she was in his arms. It still amazed her that she had someone in her life as wonderful as him. A year ago, she would have deemed it impossible. A frown crossed her face, but she pushed all thoughts of her old to the back her mind. "Ready to go, Mia?" His hand reached out and brushed her long blonde hair out of her face.  
  
"Yeah, just let me grab my purse." Turning back towards her desk, she picked up her purse and shoved the papers in her desk. "I'll grade them tomorrow." She explained. After talking to her father before leaving Los Angeles, Sydney had decided to finish school and become a teacher. Middle school seemed challenging and exciting all at the same time. She hadn't realized how hard finding a job would be, because she had never had to before.  
  
"Are we going or are you going to stare off into space all night?"  
  
His voice brought her out of thoughts. That was twice in the last five minutes she had caught herself thinking about that fast. "We're going, Kevin." She swung her purse over her shoulder and allowed him to lad her out the door and to his car.  
  
Once they were both in the vehicle, she turned to him. "Where are you taking me?"  
  
"You'll see." His smile was secretive.  
  
  
  
Sydney's eyes filled with tears as Kevin opened the black velvet box to reveal a small diamond engagement ring. "Mia Michaels, I love you so much. I want you in my life from now until forever. Will you marry me?"  
  
She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Her thought became jumbled. Did she love him? Did she want to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him? Was he the one? Abruptly, she stood, almost knocking the chair over in the process. "I." His hopeful eyes caused her to trail off. She could see his pleading look. "I can't." Her voice was soft, barely audible, but he had heard those two painful words. Without waiting for his reaction, she fled the restaurant. A few blocks away, she slumped onto a bench and took her heels off, rubbing her sore feet.  
  
She knew she loved Kevin, but she wasn't sure if it was enough to accept his proposal. He didn't even know her. Not the real her. The woman he knew was Mia Michaels, sixth grade teacher. Sydney Bristow, double agent for the CIA was someone he had never met. She had changed everything, from her name to her appearance to her personality in an attempt to erase her old life. Glancing up through tear filled eyes, she saw someone approaching on foot. Not wanting to explain herself to Kevin, she slipped into the bushes behind the bench and watched him pass. His expression was one of worry and hurt, and she held her breath as he passed.  
  
Once he was gone, she stepped slowly out of her hiding spot. Running a hand through her tangled her hair; she pulled a few leaves out of the blonde strands. A dangerous idea popped into her head and she grabbed her shoes and headed for her small apartment.  
  
  
  
Sydney dialed the familiar number, but slammed the receiver down when she heard it ring. Nervously, she brought her hands together in front her and stared at the telephone. When it rang shrilly, she jumped about a foot in the air. Fighting for composure, she answered it slowly.  
  
"Hello?" Her voice was soft and cautious.  
  
I"Hello." The familiar voice came to her across the line, "May I ask who this is?"/I 


	2. An Old Friend

Disclaimer: I don't own anything dealing with Alias.  
  
A/N: I'm not sure how often I will be able to update this. Once my computer is hooked up, it will be much more frequent.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"Hello." The familiar voice came to her across the line, "May I ask who this is?"  
  
Holding her breath, Sydney refused to hang up. "How did you get this number?"  
  
i"Star 69. Now would you mind telling me who this is?" /i  
  
"Francie, it's me, Sydney." Silently, she waited for a response.  
  
i "Syd?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "But I thought." /i  
  
"I know what you must think, but it's probably not true." Stretching the phone cord, she sat down on her couch. "I'm alive and well, but I can't tell you much more."  
  
i "Knowing that is enough, Syd. I mean, yeah, I've got questions, but knowing you're alive is all that really matters." /i  
  
"Thank-you for not asking. However, I did call for a reason. Even though it's been a year, you're still my best friend."  
  
i "And you're mine. So, what's up?" /i  
  
"I need some advice. About matters of the heart." She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. A small smile formed when she heard Francie's remark.  
  
i "It's about time you had a love life. How can I help?" /i  
  
"Well." She slowly began. "I've been seeing this guy, Kevin, for a few months now and he's proposed."  
  
i "And that's a problem?" /i  
  
"No, not exactly. He's a great guy. Sweet and handsome, but I'm not sure if he's the one. I do love him, that's not something I doubt." She trailed off, unsure of what else to say.  
  
i "But you're not sure if you love him enough to marry him. I understand." /i  
  
Sydney could almost hear her friend nodding through the phone. "So, what do I do?"  
  
i "If you have doubts, you can't marry him. It's not fair to either of you." In the background, Will called to her. "Look, I have to go. Do me a favor though, think about what I said and keep in touch, ok?" /i  
  
"I'll try." Syd promised. "Bye, Francie." As she hung up, she felt her heart break a little when she realized just how much she missed her life in Los Angeles.  
  
  
  
The next day, Saturday, Sydney slowly walked to Kevin's apartment. What she planned to say, ran through her head over and over again. Her head was beginning to hurt, when she finally raised her hand to knock.  
  
"Mia, hi." He said softly upon seeing her at his door. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I thought we needed to talk." She followed him into the living room and took a seat when he motioned her to do so. "About last night." She began, but he interjected.  
  
"Look, if you don't want to marry me that's fine. I'm sorry I asked."  
  
"It's not you. Honest. It's just that I'm not ready to get married. Not to you, not to anyone. I don't want to hurt you, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us if I accepted your proposal."  
  
His next question made her pause. "Do you want up to break up?"  
  
While she knew he would ask this question, she hadn't come up with an answer. After a moment's hesitation, she replied. "No, of course not. I still want a relationship with you, I'm just not ready for marriage. You can understand that, can't you?"  
  
Kevin nodded, a relieved smile on his face. "I love you, Mia."  
  
Without answering, Sydney leaned over and gently brushed her lips against his.  
  
  
  
Langley frowned at the paper on his desk. It didn't make sense. Running a hand through his hair, he picked up the phone. When she answered, he skipped the greetings and went straight to the point. "Agent Bristow, I have some bad news that must be discussed in person. This is not a request, but an order from the United States Government. A plane ticket has already been sent to you and I'm expecting to see you first thing tomorrow morning."  
  
When she agreed, he hung up the phone. Glancing upward, his eyes met Agent Vaughn's. "You were talking to Sydney?" He asked.  
  
  
  
"You really didn't have to come with me." Sydney said, reaching over to hold his hand. The flight attendant rolled the beverage cart by and a small child cried somewhere behind them.  
  
"I wanted to. I'm really looking forward to meeting your father and I've always wanted to see California." Kevin replied, adjusting his seat.  
  
"I know, but I haven't even told him about you yet. I'm going to need some time." The lie she had told him about her sudden trip to L.A. came to mind. Her father was sick and she felt she needed to be with him. The story was almost funny, Jack Bristow had never been sick a day in his life. "And with his illness, I don't want to put to much on him at once."  
  
"Mia, I understand. You go see him alone, tell him about me and then we'll take it from there."  
  
She forced a smile. "I'm sure my dad will like you once he gets to know you."  
  
  
  
After leaving Kevin in their hotel room, Sydney had made her way to CIA headquarters. She took in the familiar surrounding, before heading to Langley's office. "Come in." He called in response to her soft knock.  
  
"What's this all about?" She asked abruptly.  
  
Langley sighed, he had hoped this day would never come. "Have a seat, Agent Bristow." When she had sat, he began. "I don't know how this happened, but Sloane found you. He knows your new identity and your current residence. Sloane know almost every detail of your life. From your name to your day to day life."  
  
"How is that possible?" She asked. "I was so careful." As soon as the words left her mouth, her phone conversation with Francie came to mind. She swore under her breath. "I called someone." Her voice was soft, and she didn't look the man directly in the eye.  
  
"When?"  
  
"A few days ago."  
  
A sigh escaped Langley's lips. "That wasn't smart of you to do, but he has known longer than a few days. We're not sure how he found out, only that he did." He paused for a moment. "You need to remain in L.A. for a while."  
  
"How long?" She asked.  
  
"Indefinitely."  
  
  
  
Sydney walked numbly out of Langley's office. She didn't want to be here and how was she supposed to explain it to Kevin? Stopping, she leaned against a wall to gather her thoughts. As she took a deep breath, she felt eyes on her. Without looking up, she knew who it was. Reluctantly, she raised her gaze and her breath caught in her throat, as two clear, blue eyes remained fixed on her. 


	3. Uncomfortable Reunion

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing dealing with Alias.  
  
A/N-First off, I didn't know where Langley was, but I needed someone to be like the head person and I remembered hearing the name Langley. Second, as for Francie not being mad, I didn't really know how a person would react to their friend coming back from the dead, but the anger might come later. I'm not sure yet.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Dad." Sydney said quietly. She looked at him a moment longer before approaching him.  
  
"Hi." Her gaze left his face and went to her feet. "It's been awhile."  
  
"Too long." Jack agreed.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you."  
  
"I missed you too." He replied, before releasing her. "How long are you back for?"  
  
"I'm not sure. Indefinitely. How did Sloane know where I was?"  
  
Jack frowned. "I don't know. He hasn't said a word to me about you since you 'died'?"  
  
Glancing at her watch, Sydney remembered Kevin and sighed. "I really have to go, can we get together? Soon?"  
  
"Of course." Jack agreed and watched Sydney leave.  
  
  
  
"How did it go with your dad?" Kevin was sitting on the bed, leaning against the pillows and watching television, when Sydney walked in.  
  
"Good." She tossed her purse onto the chair and flopped onto the bed next to him.  
  
"But.?" He asked, as if reading her mind.  
  
"I didn't tell him about you." He looked at her, hurt evident on his face. "It's just been so long since I've seen him and the timing didn't seem right. But I will tell him. I promise."  
  
Kevin sighed heavily. "Ok, I guess." A small teasing smile began to form on his face. "Just so long as you're not ashamed of me."  
  
"Never." She leaned over kissed him.  
  
  
  
Sydney woke and showered early the next morning. After quickly dressing, she left Kevin a note and left. Again, memories rushed back to her as she entered the CIA building. They needed to find out how Sloane had found her and then decide where to go from there. For the first time in a long time, little butterflies formed in her stomach. Pressing her hand against it, in an attempt to calm her nerves, she forced her feet to move forward. The meeting would include Langley, her father, and another man from her past. A message on her voicemail that morning, had informed her that her former handler would be joining them. She wasn't sure how she was going to react to seeing Vaughn again and in truth, she was sure she wanted to find out. Stopping outside the office, she peered through the window, but could only make out the back of his head. Letting out a heavy sigh, she opened the door and entered as the three occupants turned to look at her. She smiled briefly at the two older men, before allowing herself to glance at Vaughn.  
  
His green eyes were guarded and unreadable, but they were looking directly at her. His face hadn't changed in the year she had been gone, but the way he looked at her had. She shook her head to clear away the memories of his warm expression and took a seat on the opposite side of the room.  
  
  
  
Sydney swallowed hard as the meeting came to a close. Slowly, she followed Vaughn out of the room. "Vaughn?" She called out softly to his retreating form.  
  
He stopped, but paused a long moment before turning to face her. However, he didn't answer her, just waited for to speak again. Watching as she came closer, he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.  
  
"How are you?" She asked, unsure of how to begin the conversation.  
  
"I'm fine." Like his eyes, his voice revealed nothing. "And yourself?" He asked, taking in her new appearance again. The blonde hair and green eyes were a sharp contrast from the brown he had grown accustomed to, but he would still know her anywhere. He gave himself a mental shake before she realized he was watching her.  
  
"I'm good." Syd replied and he nodded. The silence that stretched between them was awkward. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, but moved back to the ground after nothing more than a second. "It's good seeing you again."  
  
Vaughn didn't say anything, but looked at something over her shoulder. She allowed her gaze to follow his and saw her father approaching. "What do you have planned for the rest of the day, Sydney?" He asked, when he reached their side.  
  
"I'm going to visit Francie, but after that I'm free."  
  
"I don't think that's such a good idea." Vaughn stated. He couldn't help but revert to handler mode.  
  
Sydney turned to look at him again. "She already knows I'm alive."  
  
He frowned, but said nothing. Instead, it was Jack who replied. "How?"  
  
"I called her a little while ago. That's not how Sloane found out though, apparently he's known for sometime."  
  
Vaughn cleared his throat. "Still, you'd be putting her life, not to mention yours, in danger, by visiting her."  
  
"I'll be careful." She didn't give either man a chance to respond, before she quickly walked away from them.  
  
  
  
Sydney raised her hand and knocked on the door of her old house. When Francie opened it, she couldn't stop herself from squealing. After an excited hug, Francie led her friend into the house. "I've missed this place." Syd commented, pushing her dark sunglasses onto her head.  
  
"And I've missed you. Come, sit, spill." She instructed, taking a seat on the couch.  
  
Sydney sat next to her. "What do you want to know?" She asked, turning to face Francie and pulling her legs up into an Indian sit position.  
  
"Let's start with why I had to think my best friend was dead."  
  
  
  
Vaughn entered his apartment and tossed his keys on the table in the entranceway. He hit the blinking light on the answering machine and went to put his coat away.  
  
"You have one new message." The machine began. "Message one." He sighed as Alice's voice came on. "Hi, Michael it's me. Where have you been lately? I've been trying to get a hold of you for a week now. Call me when you get this ok? I love you." The machine clicked off and Vaughn reached for the phone, but stopped himself. Instead, he headed for the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.  
  
As he sat on the couch and kicked his shoes off, his mind wandered back to earlier that day. He still couldn't get over how different she had looked. Her appearance showed how much her new life had changed her. Besides the hair and eyes, she now dressed different. More colorful. She looked out of place among the throngs of people dressed in blacks and grays. Her khaki pants and button up red blouse had stuck like a sore thumb. "Stop it." He ordered himself allowed. With a shake of his head, he took a drink of his beer and leaned his head back in an attempt to push the woman out of his head.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry I can't tell you more." Sydney said with a shake of her head.  
  
Francie sighed. "I hate that you let me think you were dead."  
  
"I do too. And I wanted to tell you, but I had to keep you safe."  
  
Francie looked away. She had just gotten her friend back; the last thing she wanted was to fight. "Have you talked to Will yet?"  
  
"No, and you can't either." She replied firmly.  
  
"You're not going to tell him?" Her eyes widened in shock. "Do you have any idea how hard your 'death' hit him?"  
  
Syd frowned. "I might go see him. I haven't decided yet. It would put his life in danger, just like my presence here is putting yours in danger. I'm so sorry for that. I probably shouldn't have come, but I needed to see you."  
  
"I'm glad you're here and I know Will would be glad too, no matter what the danger."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Francie smiled and changed the subject. "Now tell me about Kevin. I want all the details." Before she could reply, her pager beeped.  
  
"Speak of the devil." She muttered. "I have to go, he's wondering where I am. I'll call you soon and we'll get together and you'll know everything."  
  
"Sure." She paused a moment. "Just one question."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Have you decided anything about marriage?"  
  
Sydney's smile immediately turned to a frown. "I turned him down, but we're still together. He understands that I'm just not ready."  
  
"That's good. I hope it all works out for you."  
  
"Me too." They hugged again and Sydney left.  
  
  
  
Sydney entered the restaurant on Kevin's arm and looked around for anyone who might recognize her. With a sigh of relive at seeing no one familiar, she allowed herself to be led to their table and listened as Kevin ordered their drinks. "Did you ever eat here when you lived in L.A.?" Kevin asked, while studying the menu.  
  
Her eyes surveyed the fancy restaurant, as she shook her head. "Nope, never. But I have heard about it. It's supposed to be really good."  
  
"For these prices, it had better be."  
  
After the waiter had came and left movement over Kevin's right shoulder caught her attention. Vaughn was being led to a table near hers, with a woman she recognized immediately on his arm. She was a little surprised to see he was still dating Alice, but she forced her attention back to Kevin's face. Unfortunately, it wasn't before Kevin noticed. "What is it, Mia?" He asked and turned his head in the direction Sydney had been looking in.  
  
"Nothing, I just saw someone I thought I knew. I guess I was wrong." She gave a relieved smile when the waiter appeared with their food. 


	4. One Alias Too Many

Disclaimer: I don't Alias or the actors, or anything else involving the show.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"Hey," Alice began as Vaughn sat across from her at their table, "Isn't that Rita?"  
  
Vaughn drew his eyebrows together and wrinkles appeared on his forehead. "Rita? Who's that?"  
  
"Oh, you remember Rita. You used to work with her."  
  
With a frown he remembered Sydney's former alias. "Oh, yes, Rita. I remember now." He tried to sound casual. "Where is she?"  
  
Alice pointed to a table a nearby. "See her?"  
  
Vaughn nodded as his eyes fell on Sydney. For a moment he didn't notice the man sitting with her, but when he did he eyed him carefully and suspiciously. Who was he and what was his relationship to Syd?  
  
"My goodness has she changed. Let's go say hi." Alice said pushing her chair back.  
  
"What?" Vaughn asked as Alice's voice jarred him out of his thoughts. "No, I don't think that's a good idea." He replied when Alice's statement registered.  
  
"Why not?" By now she was standing and looking down at him through curious eyes.  
  
"Um." He searched his mind for an excuse. Years at the CIA had sharpened his mind and reflexes, which usually allowed him to lie with ease, but now he found himself struggling to come up with something, anything, believable. "She's obviously on a.date." The last word was the hardest to utter.  
  
"I'm sure she won't mind." Alice shrugged and headed off in Sydney's direction. Swearing softly under his breath, he stood and followed her.  
  
  
  
"How's your meal?" Kevin asked, as he swallowed his own food.  
  
"Rita!" Alice exclaimed appearing beside the table. "It's so good to see you again."  
  
"Excuse me?" Sydney asked, playing dumb.  
  
Continuing as if no one had spoken Alice commented, "I like the new look. Blonde works for you." She smiled sincerely.  
  
"Mia?" Kevin asked, slightly bewildered. "What is this woman talking about?"  
  
"I'm not sure." Sydney replied, quickly glancing at him before turning her attention back to Alice and Vaughn. "I think you have me mistaken with someone else." She smiled politely.  
  
Alice frowned. She was sure the woman seated in front of her was Rita. Shaking her head slightly, she turned to her boyfriend. "I guess we were wrong Michael." She looked back at the couple sitting at the table. "I'm sorry to have bothered you, I was almost positive you were this woman my boyfriend used to work with."  
  
"I must have one of those faces."  
  
Alice nodded, "Again, I'm sorry." She said, before taking Vaughn's hand and walking away.  
  
'That was too close.' Sydney thought before facing Kevin again and taking a bite of her dinner.  
  
  
  
"Lunch was a good idea." Jack nodded across the table at his daughter, two days later.  
  
"Yeah, it was." Sydney agreed.  
  
A short silence fell over them before Jack asked, "How is your life? Your new life." He added.  
  
"It's good." Syd replied with a small smile. "I'm teaching at a middle school in Ohio. I love it there, the kids are great." She paused for a moment. "And, I've met someone. His name is Kevin."  
  
"That's wonderful."  
  
"Yeah, I think so. He's actually here now." She said carefully.  
  
Jack's eyes flew up to meet his daughter's. "You brought him here? Why?"  
  
She frowned ever so slightly. "I had to. I tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary, but he insisted."  
  
"What was the story you gave him for coming?"  
  
"You." She answered. "I told him my father was sick and I needed to come see him." At his hard gaze she hurried to continue. "Well, I couldn't tell him the real reason."  
  
"I know that, but now he's going to want to meet me. I suppose I'm in the hospital too?"  
  
"Of course not," Sydney assured him, "But that might be a nice touch."  
  
"I'll talk to Devlin about this, maybe he can help iron out the details of your cover story."  
  
"I think it's a good cover story. Simple and workable."  
  
Jack sighed. "It is good. But it would have been nice to be informed in advance so I could have been prepared."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry, but all this happened on such short notice. I didn't have time to contact you."  
  
Jack gave her a small smile. "I understand." He paused as if contemplating his next words. "I'm glad to have you home, Sydney."  
  
  
  
Sydney snuggled into the arms that held her tight and buried her face into his chest. "Mmm." She murmured as his scent invaded her senses. Forcing herself to concentrate, she went back to the dream she was having.  
  
Everything was perfect. His one arm was wrapped securely around her waist; his other hand moved to her face and brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "I've missed you." He whispered and slowly lowered his face until it was inches from hers. "Welcome back Syd." He saw her mouth curl up into a smile mere seconds before his lips brushed against hers. Bringing her arms up, she pulled him closer and ran her fingers though his hair.  
  
"I missed you too." She said, his kiss still fresh on her lips.  
  
"Mia?" Another voice reached out to her through the fog. "Mia, honey. Wake up." Whoever owned the voice shook her gently and she slowly opened her eyes to find herself tucked tightly against Kevin.  
  
Hers eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but the dream was gone and she looked at the man next to her once morning. "Hey." She muttered in a voice thick with sleep.  
  
"Good morning, sleepy head." He smiled and placed a kiss in her hair.  
  
"Morning." She rolled away from him, sighed loudly, and through the covers back. "I have some errands to run this morning, but we can go sight-seeing later." She grabbed her robe and turned towards the bathroom. "Does that sound ok to you?" She asked. When he nodded in agreement, she stepped into the other room and shut the door behind her. Leaning against it, she allowed the feeling she'd experienced in her dream to hit her with full force once more. It had been so real.  
  
  
  
"Hey Dad." Sydney greeted with a smile as she entered his office. "What did you need to see me for?"  
  
Jack's eyes softened s he gazed upon the young women who had just entered his office. "You should sit down." He told her gently, his voice soft, but serious.  
  
"Ok." She replied slowly, easing into the chair across from his desk. "What's this all about? What's going on?"  
  
"It's Vaughn." He watched her reaction as he spoke the words and saw fear slice through her momentarily before she stifled it.  
  
A frown creased her features. "Vaughn?" She found herself having to take a deep breath before continuing. "Is he ok?"  
  
"Sydney, he's in the hospital. It doesn't look good." 


	5. A Hospital Visit Or Two

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Alias or anything/anyone associated with it. Just this story.  
  
-Chapter 5-  
  
Sydney watched as the nurse told Alice it was time to leave. The blonde wiped a tear away and reached for her purse. After leaning over and placing a kiss on Vaughn's lips, she slowly walked out the door and down the long hall. Checking in both directions, Sydney slipped out of hiding and into his room. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight if him in the hospital bed, hooked up to machines and paler than she had ever seen anyone. His eyes were closed, but a look of pain had etched itself across his handsome features. Her hand found his and she felt how cold and clammy it was, making it hard to remember his warm touch. "Hey." She whispered, softly as if afraid to disturb him. As if having a mind of their own, her eyes found the bullet wound. "Since when do you go on field missions by yourself?" Sydney pulled the chair to Vaughn's bedside and sat down. "It's dangerous. Trust me, I know." The only sound in the room besides his breathing was the beeping machines that monitored his heart rate and his breathing. "You can't leave just yet. Too many people care about you. Like Alice." She said the other woman's name quietly. "And besides," Her voice grew stronger as she continued. "There was a lot of things between us left unsaid. Some stuff we definitely need to talk about. I hate the way you look at me now, although I don't blame you." She smiled softly at his still form. "Please wake up. I missed you while I was gone." Standing, she leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead as a lone tear slid down her cheek. She placed her hand on his cheek and then headed for the door.  
  
"Syd?" A voice called to her from a few feet down the hall. She turned and instantly recognized the other man.  
  
A grin formed on her face as she rushed to him. "Will!" She exclaimed and threw her arms around him.  
  
"Syd, I missed you so much! Why did it take you so long to come back?" He asked releasing her.  
  
Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "How did you know I was."  
  
"Alive?" He finished for her. At her nod, he answered. "Vaughn told me." For a short moment he stared at the man through the window. "How is he?"  
  
Sydney shook her head, tears burned beneath her eyelids, but she fought them back. "Not good."  
  
"How are you?" He asked, looking at her closely.  
  
For a moment Sydney didn't answer. "Not good." She finally managed. Her resolve broke and the tears began to fall. Will's arms came around her waist again and he pulled her close.  
  
"Shhh. It's going to be ok."  
  
Sydney sniffled, but squeezed him back tightly. "You know, this is the second time I've seen him in the hospital. He was sick because of a mission he went on with me. It wasn't any easier to see him lying there then than it is now."  
  
"Vaughn's a fighter." Will told her. "He'll make it through this."  
  
Slowly, Sydney moved out of his arms. "He hates me, doesn't he?" Her voice was scared, but she had to ask despite the fact that she was dreading the answer.  
  
"What would make you think that?"  
  
"The way he looks at me. How we left things a year ago."  
  
Will sighed and remembered brief conversations with Vaughn about Sydney. "He doesn't hate you."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Just trust me on this one, alright?" Just then a nurse came up to them.  
  
"You have to leave." Her voice was stern and slightly cold. "Visiting hours have been over for quite some time and these patients need their rest. Not the two of you yammering away in the hallway."  
  
"We're sorry." Sydney smiled at the nurse. "We were just leaving."  
  
"I know that, because I just kicked you out. Now go!" She glared at them until they headed away in the other direction.  
  
  
  
"He's awake." The words her father spoke just hours ago echoed through her mind. Like she had the night before, she waited until Alice had left and snuck into Vaughn's room. This time, however, his eyes were opened and they were looking at her.  
  
"Hi." She said, sitting in the chair Alice had vacated.  
  
Vaughn looked at her for a moment before responding. "What are you doing here?" His voice was soft and pained, like he had trouble talking and his breathing became heavy after only a few words.  
  
"My dad said you had woken up, so I wanted to see how you were feeling."  
  
"Since when have you cared about that?"  
  
Sydney flinched inwardly at his harsh words. "Since always." Her eyes left his face and focused on her hands in her lap.  
  
If Vaughn noticed her flinch or how uncomfortable she was, he didn't care. "You have a funny way of showing it."  
  
"We shouldn't talk about any of this right now. You're not strong enough." She said.  
  
"You shouldn't be here." He told her. Taking a few deep breaths he spoke again. "Go back to you new boyfriend."  
  
Kevin entered her mind for the first time since she had left him that afternoon. It had been hard explaining why she always had to be gone and could never spend any time with him. "I'm sorry you had to find out about him like that."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I have Alice, I've always had Alice."  
  
A new feeling of pain took her heart and held it like a vice. "His name is Kevin and I should get back to him." She stood and forced her feet to move. Before she took two whole steps the nurse from the night before entered.  
  
"You again? I thought I told you to stay out of here after visiting hours are over. But here you are yet again. Am I going to have to call security and have you removed from the building?"  
  
"No ma'am." Sydney went to move past her, but she stopped her again.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
Her new identity slipped easily out of her mouth. "Mia."  
  
"Mia what?"  
  
She looked at Vaughn, who was simply watching the scene in front of him. Turning her attention back to the nurse, she replied. "Michaels. Mia Michaels."  
  
Vaughn made no reaction to the name and she brushed past the night nurse.  
  
  
  
"Kevin, this is my father, Jack. Dad, this is Kevin." Sydney introduced the two men in her life with a smile.  
  
"Her boyfriend." Kevin added with a smile and reached out to shake his hand. "I was glad to hear you were released from the hospital."  
  
"I was as well." Jack replied. They sat at a corner table in the hotel restaurant. The waiter came and went. "What do you for a living Kevin?"  
  
"I own my own business. An Insurance company."  
  
"Successful?" Jack asked.  
  
"Dad!" Sydney exclaimed, but Kevin shrugged.  
  
"It's ok, Mia. Yes, Mr. Michaels, I'm successful. I'll be able to give Mia a good life."  
  
"I only want the best for my daughter."  
  
Before Kevin could reply his cell phone rang. Checking the caller ID, he told them, "I have to take this." And left.  
  
"I don't like him." Jack spoke up.  
  
  
  
"Yes?" Kevin spoke into the phone softly. "Here with me now." He listened carefully to the person on the other end of the line. "I understand. There's no need to worry." Smiling he hung up the phone and headed back to the table. 


	6. Baseball Analogies

Disclaimer: Are these things really necessary? LoL, I don't own Alias so don't sue me.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"Sydney." Vaughn said as she entered the small hospital room. He was sitting up in bed, pillow propped behind him, and a large bandage taped across his shoulder. "What do you want now?"  
  
"We need to talk." She stated simply sitting in the uncomfortable light pink plastic chair. She had come to see him during the day, in the middle of visiting hours, so not to risk the interruption of being thrown out.  
  
"About?"  
  
She sighed softly; his voice was so harsh. "About everything that's happened." She paused a moment, but knew she had to speak the words. "About us."  
  
"There is no us." He informed her.  
  
"Maybe so," She agreed, "But what happened before I left." He didn't let her finish.  
  
"Nothing happened. Nothing worth remembering." He found himself looking away when he said the hurtful words, knowing full well what he would see if his eyes met hers. Anger, hurt, betrayal.  
  
Sydney nodded meekly. "If that's how you feel."  
  
"That's how I feel."  
  
Suddenly, she felt like she couldn't leave, not without saying what she had come to say. "You heard the name I gave the night nurse?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Did you even wonder about it?" She asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Mia Michaels. Did you wonder where it came from?"  
  
Vaughn attempted to shrug but found the pain to be too much. "The CIA gave it to you. They choose your new identity when you leave."  
  
"Usually." She nodded. "But I choose my own. Want to guess where the name comes from?" He stared at her blankly and she softened a little before explaining. "You. I took your name, in a sense. I figured Vaughn might be a little too obvious, so I choose your first name instead. I could say I wanted something to remember you by, but I didn't need anything. Whether I used your name or not, I wasn't going to forget you. But I wanted to use your name. It made me feel." She struggled to come up with the right words to use. "Connected to you in some way." She finally got out. When he didn't say anything, she stood and left.  
  
  
  
"Hang in there, Syd." Will told her over the phone that night. "He's angry. You just took off, no good-byes to anyone, not even a clue as to where you'd gone."  
  
"To protect you, all of you." She defended herself.  
  
"It doesn't take the pain away."  
  
"I know." She heard the sound of a key in the lock. "I have to go. I'll talk to you later, ok? Tell Francie I said hi and I'll call her soon." She told him quickly and hung up. "Hey!" She smiled at Kevin as he answered. "Where'd you disappear to?"  
  
Bringing his hand out from behind his back, he revealed a dozen pink roses. "For you." He handed them to her. "Sorry, but they were all out of red."  
  
"They're beautiful." She assured him, burying her nose in them. "Mmmm."  
  
"I'm glad you like them." He said, but was frowning ever so slightly.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
He gave a little shrug. "No, not really. It's just." He took a deep breath. "What's really going on here, Mia?" He finally blurted.  
  
She looked at him in confusion. "I'm not sure what you mean."  
  
"You're always leaving, you're gone for hours on end and you're explanations.well, they kind of lack in the explaining your absence part. You said we came to see your sick father, and.and.are you lying to me?"  
  
Refusing to let her gaze waver and give herself away, Sydney shook her head. "Why would I lie?"  
  
He turned away from her. "That's what I've been trying to figure out. Why would you lie? I can't come up with anything, except this nagging feeling that is telling me something is not right. It won't go away."  
  
"I don't know what to tell you."  
  
"Try the truth." He snapped, placing his hands, palms down, on the desk, his eyes trained on the dark wooden surface.  
  
Sydney didn't answer him at first; she hated the fact that she had to lie to him. "I can't explain why you have a nagging feeling, I've never done anything to make you think that you can't trust me."  
  
Still, Kevin kept his eyes averted. "You're dad is out of the hospital right?"  
  
"Uh, yeah."  
  
"Then who have you been visiting at the hospital late at night?"  
  
  
  
"So, how does it feel?" Weiss asked Vaughn that same afternoon.  
  
Vaughn studied him for a minute. "How does what feel?"  
  
"Having Sydney back."  
  
Vaughn sighed. "It feels weird."  
  
"Weird? After all that girl put you through, all you feel after not seeing her for a year is weird? Man, you are weird."  
  
"Way to make a man in the hospital with a gunshot wound feel better."  
  
Weiss shrugged. "I wasn't trying to make you feel better." He picked up a magazine from his friend's bedside. "I was just pointing out that the woman you love disappeared for a whole freaking year and you can't even muster up some real feelings." He stated and proceeded to flip through the pages.  
  
"One, she isn't the woman I love which leads to two, I can muster up real feelings, just none I'd care to share with you."  
  
"Denial." He mumbled under his breath.  
  
"I heard that."  
  
Weiss looked up. "Good, now do something about it."  
  
  
  
Sydney couldn't speak at first. She had been so careful sneaking out, how did he know? "What are you talking about?" She found herself asking. He turned around at her question.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about, Mia. I woke up and you were gone. So, I went into the hallway just in time to see you turn the corner. Granted, I probably shouldn't have followed you, but I couldn't help myself. After seeing you enter the hospital, I came back here. Now do you understand the nagging feeling?"  
  
Sydney couldn't believe she had been followed and hadn't even realized it. 'I must be getting rusty.' She decided. At least he hadn't followed her inside. He never would have understood what she was doing there, why she had to see Vaughn. "I'm sorry you doubted me."  
  
"Talk to me, Mia." He took her hand in his. "Just tell me the truth, what is going on? Why are you really here in Los Angeles?"  
  
She wanted to tell him, she really did, but she knew the consequences. "Just give me a few more days. There are some things I need to handle and then I'll tell you what I can. I'll try and answer all your questions, I just need time."  
  
"How long? How many days?"  
  
"A few, I can't be exact."  
  
"I'll wait, but not forever." Leaning in he kissed her. "I think we can have it all, but we can't keep secrets."  
  
"I know, my life before you was just complicated and I need to deal with that."  
  
Kevin nodded. "I understand. And more than that, I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
  
  
"She left." Vaughn pointed out.  
  
Weiss looked at him like he was stupid. "I did notice that. But she came back."  
  
"Because she's in danger."  
  
"She came to see you while you were in the hospital. More than once."  
  
"She felt guilty."  
  
Weiss shook his head, "What is it going to take for you to realize you and Sydney could have something pretty damn great?"  
  
"Nothing, because it's not possible."  
  
"You've never even tried." Vaughn quickly shifted his eyes away from Weiss. "Wait, you tried and never told me? How far did you get? First base? Home run? Oh, please tell me you made it out of the batter's box."  
  
"I'm not discussing any of this with you. Now go before Alice shows up."  
  
"I can't believe you are still with her."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Weiss shrugged and stood up. "No reason." He walked toward the door. "Hey Vaughn?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Get well soon, ok? Hospitals really suck."  
  
  
  
"This needs to end." Sydney declared. She was once again sitting on CIA Headquarters, but this time only her father and Kendall were with her. "I can't keep lying and I have a life to go back to. I say we find Sloane and take him out so I can be on my way."  
  
"It's not that easy and you know it." Kendall reminded her.  
  
Jack tried to reassure her. "Sydney, we're doing all we can."  
  
"It's not enough. It's never enough."  
  
Kendall nodded in understanding. "I know it seems like that.."  
  
"Not seems, it is like that."  
  
"Maybe, but we might have a way. A way to destroy SD-6 and Sloane for good."  
  
Sydney felt hope for the first time since the CIA had contacted her. "Count me in."  
  
"Me too." Vaughn stood in the doorway, he looked tired and weak, but there was a determination in his eyes that said he was helping, no matter what. 


End file.
